When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
