Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
