So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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