Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize