he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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