she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
