I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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