I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
