billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
