honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
