once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
