So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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