i don't plan on having that self control this summer
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you win again, gameday.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
