note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
