Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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