A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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