it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
