my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
