It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
