I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
