I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
