Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize