I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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