dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
