He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
