you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
