omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
