Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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