just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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