Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
