I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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