Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
