Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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