i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize