I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
