i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
