And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
