She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
