So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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