I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
