We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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