if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
