Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
