i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
