what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
