Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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