There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize