You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
