I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're a waste of cheezeits
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
