That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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