lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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