no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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