Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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