I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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