she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
