i barfeds in our rink
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize