I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
