Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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