That's intense
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
pray to the hookup gods
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
