let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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